Best Custom Writing

First it is possible to browse the essay, and after we break up which sentences helped this essay score a Band 7.

Each criteria happens to be considered while the sentence when you look at the essay happens to be colour coded to correspond into the fours marking criteria used because of the British Council / IELTS IDP.

This tutorial will help you understand:

• How an essay gets a Band 7
• What sentence structures and language is necessary for a Band 7
• Ways to link ideas smoothly

The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people at the present time. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

It really is well known that some countries have a population with more people that are young old people. Even this fact could have both benefits and drawbacks, In my opinion the positive implications of having a youthful population over-weigh the negative ones. This essay will talk about the advantages and disadvantages giving examples to support both point of view.

On one hand, having more younger people can lead to deficiencies in professionals in the society. Older population may be much more educated than the young one, this is certainly being why they usually have had more hours to study a professional career during their lives. As an example, in order to become a specialist physician it is needed at least 10 years of university studies and also this may not be able for a adult that is young. In addition, younger population have less life experience than old population. People after their 50’s might have been through a complete lot in life and they may become more ready to solve any day-life problem than younger people. This could help to form a less society that is stressful. Lastly, younger populations will likely have higher rate of crime, this might be because young people have more energy to commit crime than old people. A research through the University of Chile indicated that within the south of Chile, where in fact the population is mainly young, the rate of robs and crimes where twice higher than into the north where the majority of the population where in their 50’s and older.

Having said that, youthful populations are in general more active and much more happy. This might be them to work more and maintain them-self more active because they have less old age-associated illness leading. Adding to the fact that healthy people could work more proficiently, using this they can play a role in the economy associated with country, making money as opposed https://www.customwriting.org/ to spending. For instance, the simple truth is that old societies fork out a lot of money in health with their citizens that are old. Another positive aspect of having adult that is young is there are more likelihood of having outstanding sport professionals. Young people have significantly more time and more energy than old people to practice and be an sport professional that is excellent. In soccer the majority of the players retires from their soccer-career once they turn thirty yrs old. With old people there is no time and energy to start an activity career. And last but most certainly not least, young societies are more inclined to have outdoor activities when it comes to community. This may be since they are more proactive in organize those activities and also more likely to take part in them. Old people may be too tired to go out.

To conclude utilizing the arguments given above, I firmly think that the advantages of youthful population over-weigh the disadvantages. Even though, there are numerous positive areas of having an adult population
that we should consider.

It is well known that some countries have a population with more young adults than old people (TR1). Even (CC1) this particular fact could have both benefits and drawbacks, In (GR1) my estimation the positive implications of getting a population that is youthful the negative ones (TR2). This essay will talk about the pros and cons (LR1) giving examples to support both point of view.

TR1 – Good to begin with by paraphrasing the question.

CC1 – Check the meaning / use of ‘even’.
GR1 – Check your usage of punctuation.
TR2– good to clearly state your opinion.
LR1 – A bit repetitive. You will need to vary your utilization of vocabulary whenever you can.

On one hand (CC2) / (TR3) having more younger people can lead to a lack of professionals into the society. Older population may be more educated than the young one, this can be being why LR2 that is( they have had more hours to review a specialist career throughout their lifes (LR3) . For example (CC3) / (TR4) , to become an expert physician it is needed at the very least ten years of university studies and this might not be able for a young adult yet (GR3). In addition, younger population have less life experience than old population. People after their 50’s (LR4) may have been through a lot in life (LR5) and so they may be more ready to solve any day-life problem than younger people. This may make it possible to form a less stressful society. Lastly, younger populations are going to have higher level of crime, this may be because young people have significantly more energy to commit crime than old people. A research from the University of Chile (TR5) indicated that when you look at the south of Chile, where in actuality the population is certainly caused by young (GR4) , the rate of robs (LR6) and crimes where twice greater than in the north where the majority of the population where inside their 50’s and older.

CC2 – an phrase that is appropriate introduce your first ‘body paragraph’.

TR3 – Good organisation / use of paragraphing.
LR2 – because
LR3 life that is–singular), lives (plural)
CC3 – Appropriate language to introduce an example.
TR4 – Good to incorporate a good example to guide your idea.
GR3 – Some problems with sentence structure here. Perhaps ‘specialist physicians require at… that is least and young adults have not yet had time and energy to accumulate this knowledge..’?
LR4 – Perhaps ‘who are over fifty’.
LR5 – Perhaps a bit from the side that is informal but lovely natural utilization of language.
TR5 – Again, good to utilize examples to support your comments.
GR4 – Accurate use of a clause that is relative.
LR6 – Take care here. ‘Rob’ is a verb – while the noun is ‘robbery’.

On the other hand (CC4) / (TR6), youthful populations are in general more energetic and more happy. This may be because (CC5) they will have less old age-associated illness leading them to operate more and maintain them-self more active (LR7) . Contributing to the fact that healthy people could work more proficiently, with this they can donate to the economy of the country, earning profits rather than spending (GR4) . For example, it’s true that old societies fork out a lot of income in health because of their old citizens (LR8) . Another positive part of having young adult populations is that there are more chances of having outstanding sport professionals. Young people have significantly more some time more energy than
old people to practice and be an excellent sport professional. In soccer the majority of the players retires (GR5) from their soccer-career if they turn thirty yrs . old (LR9 ). With old people there would be no time for you to start a sport career. And last but not least (CC6) , young societies are more inclined to have outdoor activities for the community. This may be as they are more proactive in organize those activities and in addition prone to be involved in them. Old people could be too tired to go out.